It took five instances in ONE DAY of seeing 'alot' in posts on the Internet. I had officially had enough of bad spelling and grammar that seems to replicate with the alien-like speed. This blog is my attempt to halt its progress! Feel free to submit any doozies you come across.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Have a tea break first ... this is a long one

Unhappily, I encountered this wordy post.  See how many problems you can count with Part One, below:


... and Part Two:


Most of the post is, incredibly, one sentence.  It not only recounts whole conversations, but then goes onto a bit of preaching, with a bit of clumsy spelling and disregard for punctuation on the way.  It must have taken a very long time to type.  But hey!  She did spell 'apologise' correctly.  (Here's another challenge for you: see if you can find 'apologise' in less than five seconds.)



Saturday, March 17, 2012

*Wat?

Everyone knows that when you are posting in an online forum, if you make a mistake you quickly follow up with another message with the correction preceded by a *.  For example, if I misspelled 'horse' as 'hearse', I'd quickly follow up with '*horse', to save myself unnecessary embarrassment.  Usually posters add a few exclamation marks and a LOL and perhaps a few LMFAOs to make it absolutely clear it was a boo-boo.  The poster below had the best intentions, I'm sure.  But if I were to give him/her a tip, it would be to check that your *correction is, in fact, correct.



Otherwise you'll look very silly!


Friday, March 9, 2012

I gotta say it all before I forget what I was saying

You know the feeling.  You have a lot to say - or type out - and you don't want any RUULY RUULY important point you were going to make slip your mind.  You go the short route: either don't take a breath, or like the poster below, don't bother with that bothersome punctuation stuff.  That'd be rediculous!


Sometimes, rather than punctuation, a few well-timed 'lols' will do, I guess.  Lol! 


Or lots and lots of exclamation marks!!!!!!!!? !?!!


Perhaps you can make up your own, innovative punctuation system for the 21st century.


<Sneer> While I like the creativity and the artistry of this poster <snort>, I think I'll stick with the more usual, recognisable and readable method of punctuation.</sneer><Hee, hee, hee><!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>

Sunday, March 4, 2012

eh, i don't need them capital thingies!

I love full stops.  I love how they illustrate where - if a sentence is spoken - a natural pause lies at the end of a thought or idea.  I also appreciate full stops in long paragraphs, as they break all those thoughts into manageable chunks.  The poster above, however, doesn't seem to recognise the distinction between a comma and a full stop.  I also like capital letters, which both the above poster and the below have only a passing acquaintance with.


Sentence.  Full stop.  Capital letter=new sentence.  Full stop.  Is there a complexity here I'm not aware of?  I don't believe it to be all the result of the use of mobile phones, because some brackets have snuck into this one.  And if you can put in a comma, you can put in an apostrophe (a 'teachers' assistant?  Really?).

The scary bit is that examples like this are the rule - not the exception.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Plz don't use all caps, n other stuff

I do wish people could use who words when posting to the Internet.  I know it's hard on a mobile phone.  I know it's slower.  But I do so hate when I have to decipher each word - because it is so much slower!  I tend to skip right to the next message because it is simply TOO MUCH WORK.


See what I mean?  I lost track halfway through.  I still don't know what it means.

My next snippet involves the most basic Internet communication faux-pas that can be made.  Do this, and readers will actually cringe in front of their screens.  I find it difficult to believe people still commit this error so frequently - why hasn't anyone told them?  Are they scared?


STOP THE YELLING AAARRGGGHHH I'M NOT SURE WHAT THIS MEANS EITHER!  AND WHERE ARE YOUR FULL STOPS?