It took five instances in ONE DAY of seeing 'alot' in posts on the Internet. I had officially had enough of bad spelling and grammar that seems to replicate with the alien-like speed. This blog is my attempt to halt its progress! Feel free to submit any doozies you come across.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

From the Santa archives, some presents for u

Christmas is a great time of year for your classical, old chestnut type of debates.  This post is in response to a question about making kids sit in Santa's lap.  I think the poster doesn't agree with this practice, but I'm not exactly certain why, and who can say what possessed her to put commas in those locations.  Maybe Santa or other Internetty-type magical being chopped out some critical connecting words from her sentence when she posted it?

Is it morally right to tell kids who are not your own that Santa is not real?  Of course it isn't and the above poster knows that, hahaa.  I like the extra consonant in everybodyy because it sounds like a crying, whiny kid is saying it, though.  You wrecked it for everybodyyyyy Neil!  Everybodyyy!  

I was always told a short story is a good story.  In response to a question like 'Should you tell your kids Santa is real?', I might write a sentence or two.  I would not report entire conversations, word for word.  She said this.  Then I said that.  I just looked at her etc. etc. etc.  I like the poster's story, but it could have been way, way shorter and way, way more people might read it to the end.  I would also advise the use of some punctuation, like quotation marks, to GIVE OUR EYES A REST.  I'm not judging though, lest I be judged.  That's scary!

I don't know about you, but I picture the poster's kids sitting there as she preaches about the history of Christmas and roman pecans and traditions and ROLLING THEIR EYES.  Is it over yet, Mama?  Just let me know when you're finished taking all the magic bits out of Christmas and replacing them all with cold, hard facts.   All of this was unnecessary, unless who she was really preaching to was the other posters (and we know this was of course the case, because she is the better parent, you know, not filling her kids heads with glittery rubbishy ideas).  This is what she could have written:  I will tell my kids the history of the Christmas celebration, starting from Caeser.  Even though my kids' Dad is a Wiccan, I will tell them who is the reason for the season.  OK?

I like the sentiments in this one.  Even though we can't give Santa a capital letter and give him Proper Noun status, as long as you have the spirit of Christmas is in ur (ouch!) heart, then santa is real.

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